There Are No Humans in the Monster Company

Today, Omniscient Incompetent seemed less like a monster starving for knowledge and more like a scholar writhing in boredom.

[Jeong Haeil, what is your favorite food?]

The question he asked was absurdly trivial.

I answered that it was pork bone soup, and after thinking for a moment, I concluded the equivalent exchange by asking which dish in the company cafeteria best suited my tastes.

He responded by writing down the day’s recommended menu.

As I left the containment chamber wondering whether a dish called Laugh Guillotine would really suit my tastes, I finished a strangely peaceful morning of work.

‘I’d better save the important questions.’

I couldn’t throw questions around carelessly and end up paying a price I couldn’t afford.

As I wrote the morning report and watched the cursor blink across the screen, a cool, gentle sensation wrapped around my shoulder from behind.

“Let’s go.”

Manager Batori.

I nodded and rose from my seat.

She was smiling with the same radiance as always, as though the terrifying bloodlust she had displayed the previous day had never existed.

In fact, she seemed to be in such a good mood that she was even humming a tune as she walked ahead of me.

“Manager, where are we going today?”

At my cautious question, Manager Batori turned her head slightly to look at me.

Her red eyes curved into a meaningful smile.

“I’m going to introduce you to a very special gathering. You’ll meet someone who will bless the future of our blood.”

A special gathering.

The fact that she was in such a good mood meant this wasn’t simply a visit to see a superior.

I swallowed hard as I followed her elegant figure.

The place we arrived at was neither the company cafeteria nor an ordinary office.

Yet it felt quite familiar.

〈Head of the Product Production Division / Executive Director Gu〉

“Whoa…”

“What are you doing? Come in.”

With a naturalness unbecoming someone visiting an executive director’s office, she lightly tugged on my sleeve.

***

“Jeong, it’s good to see you. I’m so very glad to see you. Yes, truly glad. Have you been well?”

He was still speaking in that strangely peculiar manner.

And he still looked just as strange.

An enormous obese man dressed in an elegant suit—but without a head.

At Executive Director Gu’s greeting, I smiled and nodded.

“Yes, it’s been quite a while, Executive Director. Have you been well?”

“Of course, absolutely. I’ve been wonderful. Very well, very well. Manager Batori is here today as well, and Director Sa will be here shortly, so have a seat first. It’ll be a delightful banquet. A true banquet.”

‘Director Sa?’

It was a name I had never heard before.

I thought I already knew practically every important name in the Extraction Department, but Director Sa was completely unfamiliar to me.

As I sat down with that question lingering in my mind, Manager Batori naturally settled into the seat beside me.

“I have high expectations for today’s banquet.”

“So do I. Very high expectations indeed. I wonder what kind of banquet Director Sa will bring this time. I’m very curious. Extremely curious.”

Even while speaking with Executive Director Gu, Manager Batori didn’t use the slightest trace of honorific speech.

And apparently Executive Director Gu was already completely accustomed to it, as he simply responded with a hearty laugh that seemed to come from his belly.

‘Who does Manager Batori speak respectfully to?’

She didn’t use honorifics with Manager Myeon, Moon Ara, or even Executive Director Gu.

As I was thinking about it, she seemed to notice my discomfort and turned her head slightly toward me.

“Don’t be so tense. This isn’t an extension of work. It’s a private gathering of the company’s gourmet club, Banquet.”

“A gourmet club?”

“That’s right. Director Sa, who’s about to arrive, is the leader of Extraction Team 2. He also works in the same Extraction Department as we do, so it would be good for you to start getting to know him.”

Extraction Team 2.

I had already met Supervisor Hong Na-gyeom.

And I had also heard that Supervisor Lang, whom I had yet to meet, was handling the extractions in Area D in my place.

“Has Extraction Team 2 completely returned already?”

At my question, Manager Batori elegantly snapped her fingers.

“Of course not. They’re all enjoying a well-deserved paid vacation as a reward for participating in the project. Only Director Sa came especially because he has a genuine devotion to good food and didn’t want to miss today’s menu.”

A menu capable of making someone come in especially for it.

The name Laugh Guillotine, recommended by Omniscient Incompetent, crossed my mind once again.

“Ah, it seems he’s arrived. His footsteps are so irritating that I can always recognize them immediately.”

The moment she finished speaking, the heavy door to the executive director’s office opened.

At the same time, a sharp, rhythmic sound, like metal scraping across the floor, broke the silence of the room.

Scrrrape… Clack.

Scrrrape… Clack.

Accompanied by that strange screech produced by something solid dragging across the floor, the door fully opened.

What appeared on the other side was a white serpent grotesquely deformed into a human shape.

Its long, slender arms and legs retained human proportions.

But its entire body was covered in pure white scales so immaculate they were blinding.

What was most striking, however, was its head.

An enormous hood flared out on both sides, like that of a cobra.

And golden eyes with vertical pupils that radiated an unsettling gleam.

‘…A snake.’

If you’re human, the instinctive rejection and fear etched into your genes courses through your entire body when you see something like that.

Well, to be honest, I’ve never particularly disliked snakes, reptiles, or amphibians.

But if you see a snake over two meters tall with arms and legs—

Anyone would react the same way I did.

I involuntarily shuddered.

Manager Batori, seated beside me, gently tugged on my sleeve while smiling.

“Thank you for making the trip, Director Sa. I see your hood is still as magnificent as ever.”

“Welcome, welcome! Now the Banquet can truly begin!”

Welcomed by the two monsters, Director Sa let out a hiss as he entered the office.

Something inside the bag he was carrying wriggled.

He slowly turned his golden eyes until they settled on me.

“So you’re Jeong Haeil? I’ve already heard about you. Even from Manager Myeon’s own lips.”

At that deep, raspy voice, like the hiss of a forked tongue, I swallowed hard and awkwardly stood up to offer him my hand.

“…It’s a pleasure to meet you. I’m Jeong Haeil, from Extraction Team 1.”

Director Sa’s white-scaled hand clasped mine.

‘Huff…’

It felt cold, smooth, and at the same time hard.

The texture of those scales spread across my entire palm.

I barely suppressed a shiver and kept my expression neutral.

Whether or not he had noticed my thoughts, Director Sa released my hand and emptied the contents of the bag onto the table.

“Oh.”

Manager Batori let out a brief exclamation.

Fresh raw meat.

Fish sashimi sliced so thin it was almost transparent.

And sushi.

The entire banquet consisted exclusively of raw food.

‘Well, I suppose that’s normal for a snake.’

“Very good, very good! Let’s first enjoy the banquet until we’re completely satisfied, and then we’ll talk. As they say, even Mount Geumgang is best enjoyed after a meal! After eating, of course!”

With that energetic declaration from Executive Director Gu, one of the strangest lunches imaginable began.

The sashimi was undoubtedly of the highest quality.

And it was delicious.

But beside me sat a vampire whose blood-colored tentacles slowly writhed.

Across from me sat a white serpent swallowing whole fish while constantly flicking his tongue in and out.

And above all, the moment Executive Director Gu unbuttoned his shirt, I completely lost my appetite.

“Hehehe, nothing surpasses fresh food. Absolutely nothing.”

Along his enormous undulating belly, a gigantic mouth appeared, running vertically across his entire torso.

While the sashimi retained that wonderfully firm texture in my mouth, every time the food slid down my throat, a strange tension churned my stomach.

***

When that meal finally ended—a meal during which I couldn’t even tell whether the food had gone through my mouth or my nose—only completely empty dishes remained on the table.

Executive Director Gu suddenly pushed a glass filled with a mysterious purple liquid toward me.

“Here, to cleanse your palate. It’s something very special. Very special indeed.”

As I held the glass, hesitating over whether I should drink it, Manager Batori, who was slowly stirring a cup full of blood beside me, spoke up.

“Now that we’ve enjoyed the Banquet, it’s time to discuss the real matter.”

“Yes. What’s going on? I was told there was something important.”

“Ah, the main matter. Very well, very well. Conversations after a meal are always the best.”

Manager Batori took a small sip of blood before continuing.

“Director Won has set his sights on Jeong Haeil.”

At that instant, the atmosphere became even heavier than it had been in the break room.

Grrgh.

Executive Director Gu let out an unpleasant belch, as though he were suffering from indigestion, while frowning.

At the same time, Director Sa’s white scales clattered together as he threateningly flared his hood.

In the blink of an eye, the entire office became as cold as Executive Director Seol’s office.

With complete composure, Manager Batori began recounting, point by point, everything I had told her the previous day in the break room.

From the fact that Director Won had invaded my dreams.

To the way he had tried to plant doubts about Extraction Team 1 in order to lure me to his side.

As her explanation continued, strange noises began to emerge from Executive Director Gu’s belly.

Finally, unable to contain himself any longer, he drummed his fingers against the table.

When Manager Batori finished speaking, he broke the silence with a voice boiling with rage.

“How irritating. Extremely irritating. That wretch has crossed the line. He’s crossed it completely.”

Executive Director Gu’s enormous headless body leaned heavily toward me.

“Jeong. Listen to me very carefully. The Strategic Planning Office has its eyes on you. They intend to swallow you whole to weaken our Product Production Division. They’re a bunch of bastards. Genuine bastards.”

Director Sa’s yellow eyes also fixed themselves on me.

“The Strategic Planning Office’s appetite has always been insatiable. Director Won is Executive Director Ahn’s right-hand man, so in practice, you can consider him the will of Executive Director Ahn himself.”

“But this has gone far too far! Far too far indeed! No matter what tricks Executive Director Ahn may try, he must never challenge Manager Myeon’s will! Never!”

Still unable to calm himself, Executive Director Gu roared as the enormous mouth on his abdomen writhed.

The dishes on the table trembled with every one of his shouts.

‘So Executive Director Ahn leads the Strategic Planning Office…’

I had already heard about Executive Director Ahn several times.

From the fact that he shared the company’s authority alongside Executive Director Ho.

To the fact that he led that strange project known as the Fairy Tale Project.

And now I also knew that he was the head of the Strategic Planning Office and was trying to recruit me.

“No one may interfere with Manager Myeon’s will. Not even Executive Director Ahn.”

“The affairs of our blood will be resolved among ourselves. So both of you, calm down. Jeong Haeil, all you need to do is remain peacefully under your family’s protection.”

Director Sa and Manager Batori joined together in defending Manager Myeon.

The answer those three—

No.

Those three creatures expected from me was more than obvious.

I spoke in a calm but firm voice.

“Don’t worry. I even turned down a transfer offer from Moon Ara.”

The commotion filling the room ceased immediately.

“I’ll remain in Extraction Team 1. I have no intention whatsoever of transferring to either the Strategic Planning Office or the Order Control Room. You can rest easy.”

Only then did Executive Director Gu’s enormous body seem to relax.

Manager Batori wore a satisfied smile.

Director Sa lowered his hood and made his scales click together once more with a dry clack.

“Excellent! Excellent indeed! Jeong is undoubtedly one of our greatest treasures!”

While they continued congratulating me, I silently raised the glass containing the purple liquid and brought it to my lips.

I had managed to put them at ease.

But my mind was still busy organizing all the information I had just learned.

‘I’m certain of what I heard.’

Executive Director Gu.

The head of the Product Production Division.

And yet, whenever he referred to Manager Myeon—a mere manager—he used the highest level of honorific respect.

That went far beyond Manager Batori or Director Sa simply defending their superior.

An executive at the level of an executive director was terrified of going against the will of a mere manager.

‘And Moon Ara said it was Manager Myeon who brought me here.’

Why?

‘In whose hands am I really a card?’

Manager Myeon.

Moon Ara.

Director Won.

And behind him, Executive Director Ahn.

Why?

The only way to obtain answers to that unsettling question was to ask the people involved directly.

Going to seek out Executive Director Ahn or Director Won would probably make me the next item on the menu.

So, for the time being, I only had two options.

‘…Manager Myeon or Moon Ara.’

It was about time someone started giving me answers.