I Married the Dragon I Killed

Chapter 109: What He Could Not Abandon
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Chapter 109: What He Could Not Abandon

The head of the Rosnova family.

‘Eremvalt Rosnova.’

Perda’s father.

Perda stood stunned, unable to say a single word.

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Ruri asked.

It was simple.

And the source that had led him to become a mage driven by hatred.

“What would you like to do?”

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Perda had been expelled from the Rosnova family and no longer used that surname, so they were now strangers.

He could just send him away.

No matter what he had to say, there was no need to listen.

After all, listening to his words would only revive negative emotions that would never change anything.

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Perda decided to meet him.

“Understood.”

“Let him in. acid I’ll get ready.”

Under normal circumstances, the answer would have been decided from the beginning.

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He had to know whether that hatred was still alive.

Although he thought it might be a mistake, he had to confirm it.

***

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Once he crossed that door, the man responsible for driving him out of his home would be waiting.

After spending about twenty minutes preparing himself, Perda walked down the corridor toward the reception room.

Perda’s steps did not come easily.

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Instead of entering immediately, he called the person standing behind him.

“Yes?”

“Ruri.”

“I’ll go in alone.”

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The request seemed excessive.

“And make sure that no one, including yourself, knows what happens in here.”

“Understood.”

“…What are you planning to do?”

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That was why she asked.

A plea.

“I’m begging you.”

Heavier than an order.

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That only made Ruri more uneasy.

Ruri silently deployed an isolation barrier.

“Understood.”

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There he was.

Perda felt the space become completely separated from the outside world and crossed the door.

The man who had treated him cruelly and cast him out.

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No.

The moment he saw him, the man smiled enthusiastically.

The man to whom he had returned wounds even crueler than the ones he had received.

“Oh, my son! abandon My son has come!”

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And he was glad to feel that way.

Perhaps that was why the expression seemed even more pitiful.

His acting was so poor that even a small child would have noticed how fake it was.

He was only pretending to be happy.

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Perda spoke with all the formality he could muster, drawing a clear line between them.

“Welcome, Head of the Rosnova Family.”

Because thanks to that disappointment, he was able to remain surprisingly calm instead of letting hatred boil inside him.

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Eremvalt avoided his gaze while pushing something across the table.

Perda sat down across from him and studied his face.

Whatever reaction he had expected, it was obvious that it was not the one Perda was showing.

Eremvalt showed an uncomfortable expression.

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“But I no longer like it very much.”

“Yes, yes.”

“Yes. armor The Rosnova family’s honey is delicious.”

“It’s honey produced by the bees of the Rosnova family’s lands. apron As the Lord Regent surely knows…”

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Perda’s gaze turned cold.

“No.”

“Ah… of course. agent The Lord Regent will soon turn nineteen, and…”

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“I nearly died because of this once.”

Eremvalt’s face turned pale.

“…”

“Huren Rosnova, your second son, emptied an entire jar into my mouth and blocked my airway.”

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“I… I didn’t…”

“If I hadn’t shoved my fingers down my throat to pull it out, I would have died right there. album Since then, even the sight of a simple jar of honey made me tremble.”

Perda continued calmly.

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He seemed ready to excuse himself by saying he had not known.

“I have no excuse. anxiety Even if I had ten mouths, I couldn’t justify it. riddle If you wish for punishment, I will carry it out myself. alpha No, if that isn’t enough, I’ll personally bring Huren here and punish him in front of you…”

“There’s no need.”

“There were five servants watching that day. abstract It seems none of them bothered to inform you.”

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He no longer had any interest in a false reconciliation.

Perda leaned back in his chair.

“You see… recently Big Sister visited the Rosnova family.”

“Let’s discuss the real reason for your visit.”

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Big Sister.

“She came to ask about me.”

The nickname, honorific title, and at the same time derogatory label of Erdes Roton.

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“And you told her everything.”

“No. advance It wasn’t exactly like that…”

“Yes. palette She asked about you, Lord Regent.”

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Perda’s warning was low and cold.

“Don’t try to lie to me, Head of the Rosnova Family.”

“Erdes already knows that I use dark magic. shadow Practitioners of dark magic are exterminated along with their families. agent If all of you are still alive, it means you denied my existence and told her absolutely everything.”

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Eremvalt flinched.

Perda demanded an answer.

“Am I wrong?”

His dry lips moved several times without producing a sound.

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Eremvalt lowered his head as cold sweat ran down his forehead.

Yes.

He already knew.

“It… is correct.”

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The memories tried to surface on their own.

‘I already knew this story.’

He had known from the day he was cast out that this man had never truly considered him his son.

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“Did you travel all this way just to confess that?”

A headache began crushing his temples.

A wave of emotions rose into his chest.

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“Lord Regent… do you remember Anna Rosnova?”

“No. meadow There is something I never managed to tell you, and that’s why I came.”

Perda still did not understand the reason for the visit.

“Speak.”

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Seeing the change in his expression, Eremvalt hurriedly corrected himself.

That single sentence was enough to shake Perda.

“No. ability What I mean is… do you truly remember Anna Rosnova, your mother?”

What?

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“It should be that way. airport It has to be that way, but…”

“Of course I remember her. altitude She was my mother. autumn And your wife.”

Even that correction failed to contain Perda’s bad mood.

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“Those memories feel… completely strange to me.”

Eremvalt continued with difficulty.

Those words pierced Perda’s heart.

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Anger and laughter surfaced at the same time.

He felt as though he was losing his sanity.

It sounded like a cruel joke.

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“My mother, Anna Rosnova, had blonde hair and blue eyes. shadow You always said she was such a beautiful woman that even I was beyond her reach.”

Even so, he answered calmly.

The memories passed before his eyes.

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The laughter.

The meals together.

The words of love.

Their intertwined hands.

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How was it possible that the person who had lived through all of it did not remember?

He even remembered perfectly the chill he felt whenever he witnessed those scenes.

He remembered all of it with perfect clarity.

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He did not seem to be speaking.

Eremvalt said.

“The only thing I remember clearly is a vagabond woman walking in with a child in her arms.”

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He seemed to be spitting out the words.

“What exactly are you trying to say?”

Eremvalt raised his eyes.

“Now that I think about it… I never had any reason to accept her. amateur I had lost my wife, yes, but I already had two sons. athlete I wasn’t lonely. auction I only remembered that after she died. arena So…”

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He lowered his head deeply.

“Completely sever any remaining ties with the Rosnova family.”

His face was drenched in fear.

“I wanted to tell you that, from the very beginning, you and I never shared the same blood. harbor Therefore, I beg you to…”

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His mind was in chaos.

Perda was unable to respond.

He tried to find words, but none came.

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Why did he have to hear something like this?

Then why had this man come to tear open old wounds?

He had believed he could leave all of that behind.

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Why bring it back?

He had already abandoned everything.

Why force him to relive it?

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Perda felt his consciousness growing hazy.

The emotions were trying to devour him.

Why was the person he hated most doing this to him once again?

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But the only thing he could perceive was the movement of the circuit.

He tried to calm himself.

He slowly closed his eyes.

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Kill him.

It was the same one he had heard when Ruri was in danger.

And a sweet whisper.

Perda knew that voice.

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Last time you turned him into an empty shell.

Now strangle him to death.

Kill him.

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The first time is difficult.

You must return the same pain he caused you.

Why are you hesitating?

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Spinning frantically, as if it were about to reach the Sixth Circle.

The second time is easy, isn’t it?

Those words snapped him back to his senses.

The circuit within his chest was spinning.

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Behind the bewildered Eremvalt Rosnova stretched a pair of black arms.

But that was not all.

When he opened his eyes again, he saw something impossible.

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That was impossible.

Those shadows were limbs created by Perda’s will.

Since when could Eremvalt Rosnova use shadow magic?

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Suppressing the emotions swirling inside him, he spoke in a rational voice.

Perda hastily withdrew those hands.

They moved forward until they were right in front of Eremvalt, as if ready to strangle him at any moment.

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Even so, an unsettling atmosphere filled the room.

Just before walking through the door, he paused for a moment and turned his head.

“Please leave, Head of the Rosnova Family.”

Eremvalt immediately stood up.

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Or was he simply trying to curry favor to reduce future consequences?

With that, he left.

“Thank you for your mercy, Lord Regent.”

Had that been his final display of hypocrisy?

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His mind was in chaos.

“Lord Perda.”

Perda could not know.

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Ruri could not finish her sentence.

“What kind of conversation did you have for him to leave with that expression…?”

When Eremvalt left, Ruri entered the room.

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Perda remained seated with his head lowered, staring blankly into space.

“Ruri.”

It was an expression she had never seen on him before.

The voice that left his lips was heavy.

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“May I ask you a favor?”

Perda spoke in a trembling voice.

“Tell me.”

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“Go to the Rosnova family.”

“Understood. voyage If you tell me the location, I’ll take you there immediately.”

“I want… to visit my mother.”

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Not like someone carrying cargo, but like a genuine embrace.

Once they reached the terrace, Ruri wrapped her arms tightly around Perda.

“Yes.”

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She flew like a comet, and in an instant they arrived before the Rosnova family estate.

He simply changed direction and began walking elsewhere.

“Where is the grave?”

Perda did not answer.

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He was not heading toward the mansion.

Perda walked without saying a single word.

Since Ruri had assumed the grave would be located somewhere on the estate grounds, she followed him silently.

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It did not take long before she could hear his labored breathing and rapid heartbeat.

“…”

Ruri knew better than anyone how poor his physical condition was.

“Lord Perda.”

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“You’re having trouble breathing. aluminum Wouldn’t it be better to rest for a while?”

Ruri could have stepped in front of him and stopped him.

He continued forward like someone possessed.

Perda did not answer.

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Nor did she have the courage to face the expression he was wearing.

So she simply followed him in silence.

But she lacked the courage to do so.

She did not know what burden he carried on those shoulders.

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Eventually, his steps came to a halt.

Perda moved forward while gasping for breath, covered in sweat.

It was a plain.

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“Is it here?”

A barren plain where only a tree stump remained.

It did not seem as though he had stopped merely from exhaustion.

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Perda nodded.

Ruri looked around several times.

But she found no sign that anyone had ever been buried there.

“Where is the grave?”

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Perda extended a hand into empty space.

“There is no grave.”

“Here… I said goodbye to my mother.”

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Among old knightly families, the custom was to bury the dead.

“Was she cremated…?”

No matter how humble a concubine might have been, once she became part of a knightly family, she was supposed to rest in the family mausoleum.

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“So I handled everything myself. alert I gathered those ashes one by one and carefully placed them in an urn.”

“…”

“The moment my mother died, they hurried to burn her body. atlas They even tried to dispose of the remains as if they were trash, using servants to get rid of them.”

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But he still vividly remembered the sensation of touching those ashes.

“That day, I wanted to scatter them somewhere my father would never find. crystal Even if the wind eventually carried them away, I wanted a place where I could remember her.”

Perda lowered his gaze to his hands.

They were empty.

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Perda looked up at the sky.

“So I walked until it felt as though my soul was leaving my body. harbor I walked until I reached a place so far away that I could barely get there. timber And that place was here.”

“…”

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“There used to be a tree here. agent A solitary tree standing in the middle of the plain. adapt It resembled me so much that I scattered the ashes beneath it.”

Across the withered sky and earth, the remnants of life seemed to scatter coldly.

His gaze lowered to the stump.

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“…They did something so cruel to a son who had just lost his mother?”

“One of the servants followed me. palette Then they cut down the tree.”

“Then why is only the stump left…?”

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She understood better than anyone how precious family was.

Ruri felt anger.

That was why she could not take this lightly.

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She clenched her fist.

“I believed it was my fault.”

She thought she should have intimidated that man far more before letting him leave.

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His own weakness.

Perda’s voice trembled.

“I thought that if I hadn’t been so weak… if I had shown talent as a knight… I could have protected my mother’s memory.”

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A body so frail that even effort left no mark upon it.

Up to that point, it was a story Ruri already knew.

Even until the day he died, Perda had never been physically strong.

“And that was how I was driven out of my home.”

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What came afterward was known only to Perda.

Back then, Perda had not yet been consumed by hatred.

He continued speaking.

“I trained as a mage. orbit In a short time, I surpassed many talented mages and reached the Third Circle.”

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‘Perhaps now he’ll accept me.’

A child and an angel still lived within his heart.

The child thought.

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After all, Eremvalt had been an affectionate father.

He advised his children.

He loved his wife.

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At one point, he had even been Perda’s role model.

He had been a good father.

It was just that he had never been that way toward Perda.

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The young Perda wanted his clumsy father to apologize to him.

And the child believed that angel.

The angel told him that family bonds still existed.

He wanted to believe that the world was not made solely of malice.

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Those words were hotter than fire and colder than ice.

— You are no longer my son! crystal Do you think that learning a few magic tricks gives you the right to show your face here again? artist Get out immediately!

— How dare you come back here?

What greeted him when he returned to the mansion was a roar of fury.

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It was raining that day.

His older brother Ellen and Huren ended up beating him and throwing him out by force.

There was blood in his mouth.

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Perda was half dead.

Had he not dragged himself into a shelter to escape the rain, he surely would have died.

His body was drenched.

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And that child killed the angel.

The only thing left filling his heart was the voice of a malicious demon.

That day, the child realized something.

He realized that hope was nothing more than an illusion that prolonged a miserable life.

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“I thought that was the end.”

The more mercy he sought, the more pain he received.

And at the end of hatred, he found only more hatred.

It was not until he reached absolute emptiness that he finally regretted everything.

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And he decided to live solely for a clearer purpose.

In the end, he deeply regretted it.

That was why he believed the purity of that day would return to his heart.

That demon should have died.

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“The hatred.”

“But it didn’t change.”

“What didn’t change?”

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The little monster his father had created.

Perda pressed a hand against his chest.

“The hatred that turned me into a monster. anchor The hatred that transformed me into an empty shell…”

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Ruri was unable to respond.

“It’s still here inside me.”

The silence was broken once again by Perda.

“Ruri.”

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“…Yes.”

“A father like that deserves to die.”

“When I met my father, I tried to kill him.”

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Just as he had nearly killed his father unconsciously, he feared that one day he might choose to kill Valdrova without even realizing it.

That was precisely what frightened him most.

“It wasn’t my decision.”

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“Stop saying foolish things.”

The possibility that such a thing still existed within him was an unbearable burden.

But how could he explain it?

He did not want to burden Ruri with even more worries.

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“You are the Regent of the Grand Duchy of Valdrova, the ruler of Hestia, and the fiancé of the Great Flame. acid Didn’t you decide to wear the crown knowing it could break your neck?”

“…”

Ruri scolded him in a displeased tone.

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Ruri took another step forward.

“You can’t say such weak things. voyage Straighten your back, keep your shoulders firm, and wear an expression worthy of your position. shadow Even allowing yourself to worry about something like this is a luxury for you. abstract You shouldn’t be wasting time here. harbor Go back and do your job.”

“And if one day you lose your mind and become a monster…”

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The gentle warmth of her skin slowly spread through him.

“Myself.”

Her small hands extended.

Both hands wrapped around Perda’s neck.

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“I’ll execute you myself.”

What Ruri was wearing was a rather clumsy mask of adulthood.

Guided by those hands, Perda raised his head.

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But that bravado began to crack.

“So…”

Her face filled with sadness.

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If Ruri was like this…

“Please leave that foolish expression for moments like this alone.”

Perda’s emotions were beginning to affect even Ruri.

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Perda felt his mind gradually clear once again.

She would surely suffer even more.

How would Valdrova react?

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***

“You’ve helped me once again.”

A faint smile appeared on his face.

“Thank you.”

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It was Olivia Arken.

Meanwhile, someone was watching Perda and Ruri from a distance.

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