Chapter 18

Taoyuan Temple was fifty li from the capital of Liang, a temple with abundant incense offerings.

Every year around the Qingming Festival, the Empress of Liang would personally stay there for a period, praying for the world on behalf of the Emperor.

This was a tradition. Qin Xiyi followed it smoothly, setting off in the afternoon and arriving at the temple with the Crown Prince that same evening.

Because of the suddenness of their arrival, Qin Xiyi decreed that the temple gates were not to be closed, nor were the common people praying to be disturbed. Only the back mountain where she was staying was to be guarded.

She stayed for half a month. Qin Xiyi enjoyed the leisure, spending her days with the Crown Prince exploring the mountains and waters, catching grasshoppers, fishing, and flying kites, showing none of the dignity befitting an Empress.

The palace attendants were used to it. Although their Empress occasionally lacked the grace of a mother to the nation, she was particularly amiable and lovely. The attendants were fond of her and served her with utmost dedication.

A three-year-old child was curious about everything. Having rarely left the iron cage of the imperial palace, the young Crown Prince was interested in everything.

“Mother, look how beautiful this butterfly is!”

“Mother, come quickly, there’s a turtle here.”

“Wow, I saw a squirrel, Mother, Mother…”

Qin Xiyi watched her son, like a wild horse that had broken free, frolicking with great energy in this picturesque place, and her mood also relaxed.

Yesterday, a eunuch had reported that the negotiations between the two countries were proceeding smoothly, and the delegation from Zhao might be returning today.

Qin Xiyi heard this and was lost in thought for a long time.

Cheng Muzhi was leaving. She should have been relieved. But why did her heart feel so empty, an emptiness she couldn’t dispel?

The Empress, who had long since given up her bad habit of drinking, secretly started drinking again in the back mountains of the temple where she was praying.

The young prince, wise beyond his years, seemed to sense his mother’s unhappiness. He caught a grasshopper and hopped in front of Qin Xiyi.

“Mother, Mother, what’s wrong? Are you missing Father Emperor?”

Qin Xiyi paused, then hugged her son, gently pinching his little nose. “It’s Ying’er who misses Father, isn’t it?”

She used “Father” instead of “Father Emperor.”

Hearing the word “Father” for the first time, the young Crown Prince was a little stunned. Then he understood and pouted sheepishly, “Mother said I can’t lie…”

“So?”

“Ying’er doesn’t miss Father Emperor.”

“Why? Father Emperor loves you so much!”

“Father Emperor is very good… but Ying’er is a little afraid of him. He doesn’t let Ying’er play cuju, and he starved Ying’er’s little rabbit to death…”

Liang Shi had bestowed countless jewels and soft silks upon him. He had even declared him Crown Prince to the world, showing no lack of affection. However, he was extremely strict with the child, and often seemed unsure how to interact with him.

Qin Xiyi could sense that Ying’er was slightly nervous when he approached Liang Shi.

What would it be like if Cheng Muzhi interacted with the child?

Would he also make the child study late into the night? Qin Xiyi suddenly pictured two figures, one large and one small, shaking their heads and reciting classical texts.

“Mother, what are you thinking about? Mother?”

The young Crown Prince’s call brought Qin Xiyi back to reality. She almost slapped herself.

How could she have such a thought? That person was leaving today, and they would probably never meet again in this lifetime.

Wasn’t this the best outcome?

Qin Xiyi stopped overthinking and got up to fly a kite with the young Crown Prince.

While flying the kite, the young Crown Prince suddenly threw it down and clamored to go see the peach blossoms.

Taoyuan Temple was named so because of a large peach orchard on the back mountain. It was May, the season of full bloom, with peach blossoms covering the mountainside in a riot of pink, exquisitely beautiful.

The young prince, followed by his attendants, chased a magpie into the peach grove and disappeared.

Just as Qin Xiyi was about to follow, she felt a strong force grab her waist, and she was abruptly pulled into an embrace.

Before Qin Xiyi could even cry out, her mouth was forcibly covered.

She saw clearly that the person standing behind her, holding her tightly in his arms, was Cheng Muzhi.

Her soul seemed to have flown out of her body. In a daze, Qin Xiyi saw the two palace maids accompanying her collapse to the ground, unconscious.

Her heart settled slightly.

After a long while, Qin Xiyi finally found her voice. “Have you hugged enough?”

“What does Her Majesty the Empress think?” Cheng Muzhi’s voice was a little hoarse.

They were too close, too close. His breath tickled her neck, making her itch intensely.

She struggled free, turned around, and looked at him with a hint of exasperation.

But he had a mocking expression, a smile of unrestrained ridicule on his lips.

“Cheng Muzhi, what madness is this? This is Liang! Do you want to die?”

“Three years ago, I almost died on the bed of a pleasure boat!” Cheng Muzhi snorted. “Am I mad? Compared to you, Qin Xiyi, I admit defeat.”

Qin Xiyi pursed her lips, suppressing the anger in her chest. “Why bring up the past! I am the Empress of Liang, and you are the Prince Consort of Zhao! The world is vast, and we have no reason to meet again.”

“Her Majesty the Empress is really washing her hands of it. You were the one who provoked me back then, and now you want to dismiss me with the words ‘why bring up the past’?” His gaze was fierce, like a snake flicking its tongue, wanting to burrow into its prey’s body.

Qin Xiyi had always been willful. She never thought she was innocent.

She had given up everything, granted everyone fulfillment and dignity. She came here with an unexpected child. For over a thousand days and nights, had she not lived on thin ice every single day?

But she had never blamed anyone. If she had to blame, it would only be herself.

Yet at this moment, the person she dared not meet even in her dreams stood before her, questioning her with utter mockery.

Qin Xiyi was on the verge of a breakdown.

Her lips trembled slightly, and her hands, hidden in her wide sleeves, were clenched so tightly that her knuckles turned white.

“Minister Cheng, you married Qin Luoke as you wished, became the Emperor’s son-in-law, a pillar of the court, and your future is brilliant. Even if you and I once… it was just a matter of mutual need.”

Cheng Muzhi stared at her, his gaze gradually dimming. “All I want to ask you now is, do you still have me in your heart?”

Qin Xiyi met his gaze and, without a trace of emotion, shook her head.

“Qin Xiyi, you are so good at hurting people!” Cheng Muzhi’s face turned ashen. He shook his sleeves, as if this action could shake away time and forget those painful years.

“Her Majesty the Empress, as you wish. In this life, this humble servant and you will never meet again!” Cheng Muzhi bowed deeply, turned, and left.

In the empty peach grove, only the chirping of birds remained.

Qin Xiyi’s feet felt like they were treading on cotton. She stumbled towards the depths of the peach grove.

She was looking for her Crown Prince.

But her mouth tasted bitter and salty.

Tears, drop by drop, seemed to flow not from her eyes, but down her cheeks, falling onto the peach blossoms, then splashing into the mud and disappearing without a trace.

At this moment, Qin Xiyi realized how painful it was when someone completely departed after being intensely missed.

Yet, when she had left her homeland in a carriage and married into Liang, she had been so strong.

Even after three years here, she had never shed tears.

Cheng Muzhi, oh Cheng Muzhi, why did he come here? Why was he so wicked!

Why did he have to disturb her peace?